so, today’s the day!

advance toward salt encrusted samba armed with garden hose, bucket of hot soapy water and spong and proceed to flood then underside, top side and every nook and cranny, (what’s a cranny ?) with water,

there’s a strange feelikng od satisfaction watching all the crud mud and road dirt being flushed out of the wheelarches and off the outriggers…

when the drive is completely flooded and you’re soaked to the skin proceed with the still dripping bus to the nearest jet wash and buy two tokens. One cheap wash and shampoo and one full monty hot wash brish wax and rinse.

use the cheap one for the underside, (see that dirt and gunk fly off!, and you thought you’d got it all with the poxy garden hose didn’t you !) then do the rest with the ?49.99 ‘gold’ wash…

pop open the engine lid and attempt to steam off all the gunky yellow mayonnaise issuing from the beercan breather box looking like the post christmas vomit of someone who’s drunk rather too much advocaat.

(well it’s true ! that’s what it does look like…)

cross fingers when starting incase you’ve screwed the electrics with all the water in the engine bay and drive round in a sauna for ten minutes as the heat exchangers turn all the drips into steam…

all in all a job well done.

just for good measure when i got back i did all the seams and little crust bits on the bus with waxoyl from a spray can then rubber it into the guttering all round. you know a substance is evil when it dissolves the inspection gloves you’re wearing with ten seconds of coming into contact with them!
I even got under the bus with a can of underbody sealer/waxoyler and went over everything again.

i feel like i’ve at least repayed the bus in part for getting me to the alps and back safely!

NEXT WEEK.

cleaning the interior: how to remove week old motorway service station baguette and orangina